Dear Boy

Ginger Anderson-Willis

Dear ridiculous boy,
Silly, strange, annoying boy
I don’t miss you

I can still remember your hands
Boney and callused
Laced with mine
Ink-covered and soft

I remember your eyes
Green and blue and sparkling
Like the ocean in summer
I remember your smile
I’d look at it like it was the moon

This isn’t a love letter
I don’t miss you
The memories are a coiled snake in the depths of my belly
The snake ate the butterflies
It’s curling around my arteries
Poisoning my veins

You offered me your opinions like crushed strawberries in the palms of your hands
I offered you the sunny me that smiles
The quiet, dream-girl me
Lips sealed
Sewn shut by what I thought was love
Now that you’re gone
The stitches are ripped
My tongue is made of knives
I have venom in my blood
You don’t scare me now, you silly boy
My poems come in floods

You linger sometimes
I see your hands next to mine on the piano
I see your eyes winking in the stars
I see your smile in the city lights

But I don’t miss you
I lost my voice with you
I lost myself
So I’m taking back the little parts
Pieces that are mine
I can dance in the dark now
Without seeing your eyes
It’s my voice singing loud now
So stay away, ridiculous boy
My poems are better without you